THEY CALL HER SHE

they say she's been through so much

they say no one else would endure such hurt

they call her lively, bubbly even a charm

they say she couldn't  do anyone harm

they say she's weird even complicated

they tell her she is quite educated

they say that one day she’ll make it big

they tell her that she has no needs

they say she hurts them with her words

that when she speaks milk turns to curd

they want her to change her ways

they say it would be good to ape their days

they think they understand her they know her so well

but she thinks that they just know her and they can’t tell

they think they have her all figured out

but she thinks they know nothing of what she’s about

you see they know the ‘her’ they want to see

but the real her is hidden deep within

but they don’t want to take the time to dig

via conversations and communication kits

they want her body they desire her kiss

they want to drink from her wonderful lips

she wants to be heard and listened to

to be respected and to be understood

they want to play house without the ring

they seem to not care about that commitment ‘thing’

they say she lives in this utopic world

that her ‘Christianity’ is just absurd

she says she’s as honest as they come

she says she never means to do people harm

she says she’s always aiming to build

she says its called ‘constructive criticism’

she says her faith is what makes her strong

she says she’s not perfect, very far from

she says His grace is what makes her her

she says that people need to stop looking from afar

she says if you could look past her smile

you would see who she is inside

that if you would stop being so selfish

you’d get to know her without the ‘strings’

that you would come to see the beauty inside

that others ignorantly perceive as pride

then you would come to appreciate

even those things she cares not to enumerate

she says that if you would only take the time

you’d see that this girl is just sublime

and like any other doesn’t come short of faults

that you would love her coz she’s all sorts

you’d see that she’s not perfect, very far from

but that she’s willing to learn, change and transform

you’d see how hard she tries to be nice

you’d realize that there is so much more to find

you’d see how far she’s come from  and how much she’s changed

you’d notice that she’s making an effort not to remain the same

you’d see how hard she’s working out her salvation

and how much she doesn’t want to end up in eternal damnation

you’d understand why she loves the Father so

or how much of Him she really knows

you’ll see how important her faith is

and how her relationship with Him gives her great bliss

you’d want to get to know her for her

and not for her curves, her lips or her hair

you’d want to uphold her in chastity

and not devour her or propagate her nudity

you’d want to wash her with the water of the word

to be her true priest not someone absurd

you know what I mean him who’s neither here nor there

that kind John wrote about who’d be spewed in the air

you’d want to hold those long intellectual discussions

with her of course the kind that take hours

you’d not grow weary of hearing her speak

you’d not get scared of correcting her speech

you’d want to build her up and her you

you’d want to be stuck together like glue

you’d want the altar and nothing more

before her body you can devour

you’d want what she wants no, she’d want you

to become one from the created two

to share a vision, a passion and a will

she’d want to become your very help meet.

But instead of all this you want to remain the same

To go with the many he said she saids

So to know her you’ll never get a chance

Nor will u ever experience this romance

The cure?  You might want to ask

Is to seek the Father, the one who made the cast

To know Him first in order to know her

And maybe get the ability to understand.

LOVE

I know that most people are expecting this to be one of those gooey, mushy kind of posts but if you know anything about me you know that I'm not that kind of a girl (most of the time)....hehe

This has been a month of learning what it means to love. Not to love people or things or circumstances and situations but to just love. The bible says that God is love. I often ponder on that and over the years I have come to the conclusion that who else would best describe the word in persona and His very existence? He shows it best, he knows it best, because he is it.

As usual I'm going to quote scripture and diverge and probably say a myriad of words but hang in there and stay focussed I do have a point. Corinthians 13 says that love is patient, kind, long suffering....etc. I read it often and wonder "...mmmmhhh...this is so not me! And can never be!"....but, wait a minute.......

I've been spending a great deal of time with different kinds of people. I love people. I find them so interesting and I marvel at how different we all are. Yes, this information has a reason to be in this post. I recently spent time with someone who I think is selfish. I’m not being judgemental or anything...just hear me out. When I got home I thought to myself "wah, how can someone be so selfish?" then the Holy Spirit told me "you think you're not?!" I could almost hear him laughing....hehe....going back over the events of the time spent with this person I saw the me I used to be and still struggle with at times....selfish.

This is the part I open up to you and tell you of the girl I used to be. I’d only socialize with people for what I could gain. It never occurred to me that these people could be looking for real friendships in me. I wanted to know if they could be my friend and no other way around. In relationships, I’d never put in my end...as in I’d always be on the receiving side and never the giving one...the other party always felt short changed. Truth be told I still do this even if I say it’s a defence mechanism. I believe in the 'don’t ask don't tell' philosophy of the American army but without the gayness attached to it.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. These are the specific verses of Corinthians that I want us to look at today. 

Love is patient. When you think about patience what comes to mind? I think waiting...more like the long wait (I think that's the title to some set book or something, hehe) but in as much as patience has a lot to do with waiting it also has something to do with faith. We wait for what we believe in. Something we have faith in will happen or change. I don’t see how we can be patient if we do not have faith and trust coz then again the two also go hand in hand. The book of psalms says that blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord. Countless of verses tell us to hope in him, trust him, put our trust in him and not in man for He never disappoints. But the verses that jaz me are: wait upon the Lord and be still and know that I am God. Kwanza that one, be still…, what! Tis easier said than done I tell you!

So, love is patient. The bible doesn’t say with who or in what situation. It just says that love is patient. I like to excuse myself and say “the bible says love is patient not me!” then go ahead and do whatever I’m impatiently working at, hehe….but on a serious note love is patient. Meaning God is patient. Ask the Israelites they’ll attest to that for sure! And if God is indeed patient then we ought to be too. Consider the story of the king who forgave his servant of a debt he could not pay. The servant was so elated only to go out and find someone who was indebted to him and he could not forgive him. The story ends with this servant being jailed by the king for not showing mercy on his fellow servant. How can our God be so patient and we fail to? There’s got to be something we’re missing.  If truly He lives in us and it is He who lives and not us (Gal 2:20) then we ought to be patient people. But are we?

Love is kind. Now this word is an interesting word. When Jesus was told that he was a kind man he replied to them that none but the Father is kind. So what does kindness mean? David uses the word repeatedly in the book of Psalms. I wonder if he really understood it. The word of God also says that none is kind but the Father, that is, God the Father. What is to be kind?

The Cambridge dictionary describes this word as to be generous, helpful and to think about other people’s feelings. Now, how often are you generous, helpful and how often do you think about other people’s feelings? Generous I must say I am and often too, helpful not much, thinking about other people’s feeling…well….it depends….hehe. Love is kind. Love is all these things all the time in all situations and circumstances. This is deep! I think, if I evaluate myself honesty, I am not a kind person. If this is the definition I really am not kind. And neither are you! When you say that you love someone do u think about their feelings? Are you generous towards them? Are you helpful? Do you go out of your way to help? See I hate it when people say those three little (but oh so big) words “I love you.” I hate it because I believe they are just misusing the word and they do not know what it really means. Are you kind?

So go through the whole of that scripture and ask yourself if you are any of those things then you will understand what it means to love. I am still learning how to love and what it means to love. It is a lifelong process I tell you. But may God guide and teach you. May His Holy Spirit change you from who you are to a loveable person.

PURPOSE

I have asked myself many a time what this word means, what my purpose is and how to discover it. At one point I thought that in order to discover my purpose all I needed to do was pray like really hard and boom! God would just tell me or show me. But God, as I came to find out, is not so obvious. Otherwise, if he were, life would be too easy and faith obsolete.

A few months ago a colleague of mind sat me down to explain to me that she was leaving and I was expected to carry her mantle at work (spiritually speaking). At first I didn't understand what she was talking about so, as usual, I got to asking her a myriad of questions. What am I expected to do? What do you mean by mantle? What does God expect of me in all this? What is my purpose here? Why am I here? Being the wise woman that she is she answered with this profound statement “You are like a Nehemiah of this age “

I love scripture. It’s profound and simple at the same time. It is such an oxymoron. I’ll digress a little and explain that. An oxymoron is a combination of two words that have opposite meanings. For example, almost. All means everything; every single thing. Most means not all. Almost is an oxymoron. Now, back to my line of thought.

Nehemiah. Who was Nehemiah in the bible? What did he do? I remember asking a friend of mine (a more schooled and familiar with the word person) who Nehemiah was. From Sunday school songs (let us sing the Minor Prophets…) I remember that Nehemiah was a book in the old testament classified under historical books. Nehemiah was an administrator the way I see it. He was a cup bearer in the King’s palace. Nehemiah heard that the walls of Jerusalem had fallen and requested the then king to return to Jerusalem in order to rebuild the wall. This was Nehemiah; an administrator, a supporter of the vision. The vision? You might ask is the rebuilding of the Jerusalem wall. The vision began with Haggai I think. Correct me if I am wrong please.

So, if this is who Nehemiah was then what does this mean for me at work? And in life in general? I am already an administrator by the very description of my job. But still, what does this all mean? What vision am I protecting? What work am I seeing through? When I try to look at it practically I see an organization that’s growing but I ask God what is the vision?

I am a vision protector and a builder. Even though most of the time I lack confidence in myself, I know I have it in me. My big question is what is the vision? You cannot help to grow something if you cannot see it clearly… can you? A good friend of mine once told me that’s it’s not good to want to understand everything. That some things are best when not fully understood. I agree with his statement but I wonder, how can I run with a vision that I do not understand? Remember Habakkuk in the bible? He was shown a vision by God. Then God tells him to write it down in order to make it plain that he may give it to he who shall run with it.

Vision. Is this purpose? Habakkuk had seen a vision of the Chaldeans taking siege over Jerusalem. He was baffled by this vision because the things that he saw were of violent scenes and wickedness. He could not understand how a loving God like Yahweh could allow such a vast nation to continue in its inequity. Even though he understood that the reason why these Chaldeans would conquer Jerusalem and take the Israelites captives he couldn't understand the prolonged captivity that the Israelites were about to enter. So because of this, Habakkuk decides to wait on God to answer him and God does answer. God tells him to write the vision down. My bible says ‘write the vision and make it plain on tablets that he may run who reads it....’

God was telling Habakkuk to write down everything that he had seen. I’m guessing that this was for storage sake. Not for God but for man. O that man would remember and testify to it when it actually takes place. It’s like the phrase ‘for the record…’ the next part gets interesting God says ‘for the vision is yet for an appointed time but at the end it will speak and it will not lie. Though it tarries wait for it because it will surely come. It will not tarry.’

I have really digressed haven’t I? Well it helps me understand things better when I give them a wider scope. So what is my purpose in life? I came to find out this past weekend that I am a teacher. Well it was affirmed that that is my gifting and calling. To teach the youth. Anybody over 24 all the way to 35. Wow! This is huge to me!! Scary too! But exciting. Though I am not sure how this will be applicable to me at work, I am trusting that God will direct me and show me.