EMOTIONS

Ever wondered why God created emotions? Ever wondered why we have them? Ever wondered what they're for or what their importance is? Well I have. I've noticed that I think a lot about these questions whenever I experience an "uncomfortable" emotion. I put uncomfortable in quotes for a reason. I'll explain further along in this read.
You see as a christian I have believed, for the longest time, that it's "ungodly" to feel and even express some emotions. For example: anger. I believed it was ungodly for a christian to get angry. It was worse still if one expressed this anger. So for many years I covered it up with all sorts of things.  Pride, false joy, indifference, wit, sarcasm you name it. I thought that if I showed someone my angry side, if I dared to show them that they evoked this emotion called anger in me, then I was ungodly and weak. Same with pain, hurt and fear.
But I've learnt that God didn't create us and give us emotions to suppress them. No, God created us to experience emotions. Not only the good ones like joy, happiness, peace, love but also the not so good ones like fear, anger, sadness, disappointment. Now let us look at the scriptures and see what God has to say about this.
Joshua 1:8-9 tells me not to fear. Now you're probably thinking, "Doesn't this contradict what you've just said?". No. The bible tells us not to fear, yes. What's the explanation of "to fear?" think about it. No English jargons, just lay man's terms. When we fear we start by experiencing an emotion. Now God cannot possibly tell us not to experience an emotion because even He experiences emotions and He made us like Him in image and likeness.  We experience an emotion called fear. Inside we recognize it because we've felt it before. It was passed down to us from Adam and Eve. It makes us scared mostly. But at this split second in time we have the privilege to exercise our will:- to choose to be afraid or to choose to trust. This trust could be in ourselves where we choose to trust our own control and lordship over our emotions(pride) or to choose to trust God and yield Lordship to Him because He's got this! Over fear. When the bible says "do not fear" it means don't yield to fear. Feel the fear but make a choice, by an act of your will, not to give in to fear. Don't depend on yourself to do this, trust God who works in us to do and to will Philippians 2:13. The strength to not fear comes from the One who gives the command.
Recently someone made me angry. Ooooh was I mad! And christian me decided to give her a chunk of my mind (that was evidently not a piece). Boy did I let her have it! As I was verbally expressing my anger I hurt her feelings. I also realised something. First that I had yielded to my anger and let it control me. Ephesians 4:2 tells us to forebear one another with meekness(humility) and longsuffering (patience). Now, I will not repeat what I said but if asked it was anything but humble and patient or kind. There was no love in my speech or anything to indicate that I had esteemed my colleague as greater than myself. If anything my actions and words were downright proud, judgemental, probably even rude and demeaning. I wanted to put her in her place and I did it!
I love the Holy Spirit. Even while i was talking He was trying to refrain me silently (He is the still, small voice that Elijah heard on the mountain) but I wouldn't listen. If this was a cartoon it's like a gave Him a blow that sent him off the throne of my heart so I could rule. And just like that He went silent and let me make a fool of myself. He is such a gentleman I tell you.
After I was all yelled out I took a walk to calm myself. See, I have never shouted at anyone at work before. Siblings, yes, a close friend, for sure but never a colleague. I needed to think. I had shocked even myself.
So I began to ask God about what I'd done. I wanted to understand what was going on within me. Was it a temper issue? Was it pride? Because I was feeling some form of guilt, a weird kind that I had never felt before. At least that's what I thought it was. In addition to this I was also not feeling remorseful for getting angry with her. I was however remorseful about getting angry at her -there's a difference.
The Holy Spirit began to talk to me. He told me that I had been suppressing my anger. This lady would make me angry and I'd suppress the feeling. I had pushed that feeling down so many times that this was the last tick that made the bomb to explode. And blow did it!
He told me what I said that was wrong and why it was wrong. He showed me my heart (He judges the attitudes and the motives of the heart). That I was not telling her I was angry as an expression of a valid emotion, I was trying to put her in her place. Then He asked me, "Susan, why do you think that she deserves to be put in her place? Where is this place in respect to you? Are you obeying me by doing this?"
I failed to esteem her above myself and that was a pride issue not an anger issue. He then continued, "Susan you have every right to get angry. She disrespected you and failed to submit to authority but she isn't mine. I love her nonetheless but she isn't mine, you are and as a good Father I must correct you. There's a way to let people know that they have made you angry. And feeling that anger is the first step in dealing with it. But there is a right way and a wrong way to express anger and how you did it was wrong. Be angry and sin not."
I learnt that day that some emotions make us uncomfortable because we have believed a lie from the enemy. We have believed that Christians shouldn't feel certain emotions. That it is ungodly to do so. Lies, lies, lies. God created us as emotional beings in His likeness because He is emotional. I don't mean He's some wimp no, I mean that God has emotions. Yes. I challenge you to read your bible this week and underline where the Godhead expresses emotion. Any verse or sentence or phrase. Study how Christ dealt with his emotions and emulate Him. I'm not saying you go kicking tables in temples or anything, though there is a place and reason for that, but I'm saying study Christ; His person and character and emulate Him. Learn from His word why He made emotions, why it is important to feel them and express them and ask His Holy Spirit to help you heal in your emotions and feel them and express them in a godly manner. Will you allow Him to teach you?